Rainbows Are For Everyone|
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
JD the odd's LiveJournal:
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|Saturday, June 9th, 2012|
been ages since I logged in. I'm still alive. Not sure at the moment if I am happy about that or not.
So much to say, but can't think to type it right now. Current Mood: indescribable
|Saturday, June 19th, 2010|
Well, after being on T this long I will say this much: yay!
I always held this tiny tiny fear that T would send me more into the crazies, like when being preggers messed with my hormones. However, I have never been more stable and baselined 'normal' in my life.
I am actually able to go out in public without feeling like I am going to stop breathing. I am less obsessed (in a bad way) with my body and more confertable being amoung other people.
My voice is changing, not in leaps and bounds just suttle enough that I notice it, and am enjoying the changes. I have less trouble over the phone than I used to. No as many 'no I need to talk to Scott' responses. I have hair on my upper arms, just fuzzy baby type hair, but since I never had hair up there before it is a change. Just like I never had hair on my thighs before and now happily sporting nearly the same amount on the thighs as the calves. Side burns are filling out, and I can get some long fuzzy wuzzy's on my face. just needs to thicken up and it could be called a beard/mustash. For now I have to shave it off cause it looks just plain silly for being so light and fuzzy.
I also have some belly and chest hair, not very much just the baby fuzz and the occational WTF monkey hair.
I am passing more as male, to the point that even when i speak I still pass, which rocks. I have other guys actually talking with me just like I am any other guy. and little kids are starting to think of me as 'that strange man' So a little good mixed with the bad, but heck I am just happy I am finally feeling... well, more like NOT feeling so bizzare.
I am starting to get more worried about trying to afford top sugery because that is very much becoming an issue.
I am also wanting to find someone to date, and I am figuring out I am more straight than I thought I was. I really want a girlfriend.
Part of me feels like, 'oh noes, do I have to give up my rainbow flag!?' The other part just doesn't care either way.
meh, I am happier than I was, and know that yes this is the right path for me, just like I thought. It just is confirmed now.
|Wednesday, March 10th, 2010|
|Tuesday, February 9th, 2010|
After 8 years of waiting to truely transistion... I am finally on the real road!
I started T on 2-4-10! woohoo!
might just be the thought of knowing I have it, but I have noticed the following changes in me already:
I am much more calm mentally.
I am much more self confindent.
I am not as tired, and lethargic. Current Mood: chipper
|Friday, November 9th, 2007|
Well, today, about 1am... someone was trying to hack this journal.
Thankfully I have changed my password on just about everything I do online, so whomever was trying to use my old password(s) to first hack this, then my e-mail, was unsucessful... if you see any strange messages from other sites I am on, that seem to be from me.. well, assume they are not before you assume they are... I am about to go through and check and change passwords once more, but thought to warn everyone of the possible hazzard. Current Mood: annoyed
|Sunday, October 28th, 2007|
life... it has its up, it has its downs... last few months have had a lot of both sides of life.
Although leigh and I were going to try to work on our marriage... i feel a brick wall has been put up. I am done jumping through hoops. I will be called the big fucking bitch, if that is what is needed to keep sanity in my and skye's life.
My dad invited me to thanksgiving in texas for the first time in YEARS and YEARS. He invited skye last year, but this year it was the both of us. Of course I have to keep my mouth censoured, and not be called my name, or the correct title (dada) but, at least skye will get to meet that family, and I will get to hug my aunt meme for the first time since she flew all the way to IL for my high school graduation. ( that was end of may, in 2003.)
Skye and I are flying to Oakland, CA for x-mas. I am very very much looking forward to this, although I worry a lot about it to. Organially, I was going to fill in on a newspaper route for a week or two at the end of NOV. that way I would have some money for gifts for family, and some money to take to CA with me. Now, I was told she isnt going to have me fill in at all, and that I am basicly SOL. So, How can I make this trip, with no money? Well.. the tickets are already bought and paid for, and non refundable. Plus, we are not staying in a hotel, we are staying at a friends... but still.... I cant just freeload off of them! But nor can I make them lose out on the money they spent on the tickets...
anyone know of a way to make some quick cash? I mean, I am happy in one sense that I am not doing the route, because I am free to go to texas for thanksgiving, rather than working then, but at the same time, even then, I am basicly freeloading off of my dad and shelly... they ALREADY been paying for my car for way way too long... nevertheless all the diapers they buy for skye, the clothes too... all the 'little' things, that without them, i wouldnt be able to buy as much of, or the better types...
I want and need these trips to try to regain myself again, to regain my self-assurance that I CAN do things, make decisions, care for skye...
yet all I can think of, is I should be working already... yet, every time I bring it up, I am told by one person or another that I should just wait untiil after the holidays... but, people dont HIRE *after* holidays... then again, I dont need a temp job, I need a STEADY job!...
no wonder I have had nightmares every night since I really started getting mentally stable again.... Current Mood: scared
|Monday, February 5th, 2007|
|Is 8 bucks worth it? I think so.
even if you vote that you really dont care which way I go, I just wanna know people saw it even.
Okay, I am planning on getting my ear pierced again. I just started to gauge the top one, and to me, it looked too weird with that big empty field of ear between the upper and lower one...
See what I mean?
So without further ado, please vote... Either Lower.... (spot one)
upper, spot two
p.s. I am anxious about what sort of responces I may get... this will cost me only 8 dollars total to get another peircing. I think I should be allowed to splurge a whole 8 dollars on myself. Current Mood: anxious
|Sunday, December 24th, 2006|
Happy holiday season to all!
y-- y-- (haha pogo peoples know that that means) y-- y-- Current Mood: crazy
|Sunday, December 17th, 2006|
Jan: You can only say yes or no, you are not allowed to explain anything:
Feb: Well, the baby shower and wedding is coming up next weekend... basicly 8 days...
March: Baby (girl) Skye was born 03-03-06 via c-section.
April: April Fool (tis a meme)
May: If one day u feel like crying.... call me.
June: Well, I did the math. and with my new job at KI, I will be making enough money I think to be making it, so long as dad is willing to wait a while more before I pick up the car again...
July: I'm going to have a fun night, even funner because other than online, this time I am not telling anyone.
Aug: I am getting so frustrated with baby... she been whiny all friggin day!
Sept: Fired From His Job as a Hostage Negotiator, Stanley Fell On Hard Times
Oct: Stolen from jimmysbrkndrms
Nov: Leigh is home
Dec: you want to earn my undying love? Current Mood: Dead
|Saturday, December 16th, 2006|
|O Icon I beg of thee!
you want to earn my undying love? make me a dancing catus icon. want a perfect example of what I mean? Go to pogo.com
sign up, tis FREE.
go into a game such as lost temple poker (one that has a chatroom with it.)
type y-- in the chat. Fall over with love.
I *crave* an icon like this... even better if It can have a word bubble pop up and say woot! or woohoo!.
many virtual cookies, brownies, love, effects, and kutoes to boot to anyone who could do this for me!
|Saturday, November 18th, 2006|
|and the proud cheater takes his bow
So, yes, I admit I looked up, and then used cheat codes to do so, but for the first time ever, I actually beat warcraft 2. I didnt give up, I didnt give in and start over... nope I actually got to the ending!
now for me to do it again, only this time as the Orc army! Current Mood: accomplished
|Wednesday, November 1st, 2006|
|Posted using LJTalk...
Leigh is home
|Saturday, October 28th, 2006|
|Wishful wish list
Stolen from jimmysbrkndrms
* Make a post (public, friends locked, filtered ... whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ/blog. The post should contain your list of holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ('I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me') to medium ('I wish for _____ on DVD') to really big ('All I want for [insert seasonal celebration here] is a new car/computer/house/TV.') The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
* If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your e-mail address where people could get in touch with you.
* Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ/blog so that the holiday joy will spread.
* Surf around your friends list (or friends friends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:
* If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use - or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free - do it.
* You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf - to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not - it's your call.
* There are no rules (other than stated above) with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just ... wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's day special
*To either be given the money to be able to move to NC (at least 1500 dollars) OR be able to at least take a trip to charlotte, NC with baby, to allow the sisters to finally meet!
*A Job, bonus if I wont hate it.
*500 to 1000 dollars cash, no questions asked.
*I know this isnt nessarily a 'regular' holiday gift, but more of an overall wish: To somehow get top surgery before skye turns 2.
*To get a hormone supply for Leigh.
*To get a copy of Hackers on DVD
*To get a new copy of Pursemonger of Fugu: a bathroom mystery By Greg Kramer
*To get Hogtown Bon Bons By Greg Kramer
*To get someone to write a fanfic about Lacroix finding a newborn baby on his doorstep with a note asking him to raise the child... (of course I leave where this goes up to any possible author(s), I personally would find it even more intresting if he at least starts to follow that wish.) oh, and p.s. on this one, AND SOMEONE LINK ME TOO IT/THEM.. else I would never know!
*To get music (digital or CD) by lori yates... (the one song I am still joanzing for is Dark Side of the Glass from the Forever Knight soundtrack)
I have many more "BIG" wishes, but I will keep this list were it is at.
AIM:Iamwolfyknight, ICQ: 267825380, MSN: Wolfyknight@hotmail.com,
Yahoo:Wolfyknight Current Mood: cold
|Sunday, September 24th, 2006|
Well, I am not going to delete this journal, but This is my final post.
To all that have been there for me, thank you. Current Mood: cold
|Saturday, September 23rd, 2006|
|Tuesday, September 19th, 2006|
So, yesterday I had a tubal ligation done. Fairly easy surgery. But before they did it, they had me sign a release so they could poke around a little and check that my overies didnt have cysts on them or anything, and if they did, to be allowed to remove them. fairly minor run of the mill release.
They didnt find anything wrong with the innards... but yet, before hand I really really was actually hoping they would find something wrong... something wrong enough to warrent waking me up and getting permission for a full hystro....
is that/was that wrong of me to wish that? am I the only one that has sat around, almost hoping you have something wrong just to get the parts out? Current Mood: sore
|Saturday, September 16th, 2006|
|Saturday, September 9th, 2006|
|Wednesday, August 16th, 2006|
I am getting so frustrated with baby... she been whiny all friggin day!
and with me Frustration turns to anger way too fast...
just shut the fuck up skye! I have fed you, clothed you, changed your diaper, you are FINE. Current Mood: frustrated
|Friday, July 28th, 2006|