I always held this tiny tiny fear that T would send me more into the crazies, like when being preggers messed with my hormones. However, I have never been more stable and baselined 'normal' in my life.
I am actually able to go out in public without feeling like I am going to stop breathing. I am less obsessed (in a bad way) with my body and more confertable being amoung other people.
My voice is changing, not in leaps and bounds just suttle enough that I notice it, and am enjoying the changes. I have less trouble over the phone than I used to. No as many 'no I need to talk to Scott' responses. I have hair on my upper arms, just fuzzy baby type hair, but since I never had hair up there before it is a change. Just like I never had hair on my thighs before and now happily sporting nearly the same amount on the thighs as the calves. Side burns are filling out, and I can get some long fuzzy wuzzy's on my face. just needs to thicken up and it could be called a beard/mustash. For now I have to shave it off cause it looks just plain silly for being so light and fuzzy.
I also have some belly and chest hair, not very much just the baby fuzz and the occational WTF monkey hair.
I am passing more as male, to the point that even when i speak I still pass, which rocks. I have other guys actually talking with me just like I am any other guy. and little kids are starting to think of me as 'that strange man' So a little good mixed with the bad, but heck I am just happy I am finally feeling... well, more like NOT feeling so bizzare.
I am starting to get more worried about trying to afford top sugery because that is very much becoming an issue.
I am also wanting to find someone to date, and I am figuring out I am more straight than I thought I was. I really want a girlfriend.
Part of me feels like, 'oh noes, do I have to give up my rainbow flag!?' The other part just doesn't care either way.
meh, I am happier than I was, and know that yes this is the right path for me, just like I thought. It just is confirmed now.